Cult
1. He spent the entire day yesterday teaching the first grade class about the “astrologically true and accurate time of seder”.
2. During his “lesson”, he warned the children about the evils of eating pork. In detail. Meaning that he described both the specific evils of pork consumption and the specific meats that are classified as pork.
3. He became tearful during recess duty as he shared his fear for his brother’s soul as said brother apparently has a tattoo and the bible clearly forbids marking the skin in a permanent manner.
4. He also tells the class that he is “fasting” this week which means he is only eating yogurt, cheese, and unleavened bread.
5. He is performing this fast to “purify” himself for his visit to the “holy farm” this weekend.
6. While discussing gardening with you over lunch, he stated that he is planning on getting some goats this summer with the end goal of being able to live completely off his own land.
Yes, in fact, I do think I can make a case for the fact that your client’s first grade teacher is in a cult. And I have to confess I’m a little alarmed that you don’t believe me.
